Self-Worth

I constantly wonder what the world would be like if everyone loved themselves for exactly who they were. What conversations could be had if there was no insecurity or defensiveness? If we could learn to be vulnerable and open, and be empathic toward others and embrace our differences?

In didactics we are learning a lot about psychodynamics, which I love but still struggle to understand completely. I think what I’m understanding so far is that you are looking at a person’s past experiences, using that to explain the basis for his/her current lived experience, and addressing any issues that come up in the room with the patient in your therapeutic relationship together. It addresses both the past and present. All this to try to make sense of maladaptive patterns that cause suffering. It is SO hard.

Being the emotional and sensitive psych junkie that I am, I can’t help but react to my therapy patients’ experiences. I feel sad with them, and mad with them. I have to really watch my countertransferwnce. I end up trying to solve their problems for them, when I should only be a guiding hand. Nevertheless I find so much fulfillment in therapy. I feel that this is the most rewarding part of being a psychiatrist. When you see the revelation surface on a patient’s face after months of work, it’s like a ray of sunshine after a long and dark winter.

I will be starting child and adolescent fellowship in July, but wherever my career takes me, the psychodynamic approach will always stay with me. I love other therapies too, like DBT and CBT, but psychodynamics is the umbrella that holds it all together. You just can’t understand someone’s lived experience without understanding their past and what makes them who they are today.

In tying it back to what it would be like if you loved yourself for exactly who you are, I think psychodynamic therapy helps you get there. You bring up past trauma and maladaptive patterns not to feel bad or be negative, but to help understand why you are who you are. With that understanding will come acceptance, and hopefully eventually, endearment. If there was no sense of needing to hide who you are or act like someone you’re not, then your mind will be liberated. We can all appreciate ourselves for our strengths and weaknesses alike. With that kind of peace of mind, we would have enough mental space to empathize with others and respect our differences. With all the violence going on in this world, we could all use a little break.