Taking Time

This is my first Christmas at home in five years, and the longest break I’ve taken in who knows how long. Being far away from home for residency and medical school, I always seemed to be caught up in something. Or making excuses not to actively seek wellness. It’s been great rolling around in bed until the shortest shadow of the day stretches outside. It’s absurd how many of my mom’s homemade pork buns I’ve consumed since I came home. It’s pure bliss.

Whenever I’m home, I realize how much I’ve changed over the years. Looking at photos of my awkward smile days makes me laugh. This is a significant improvement from before, as I used to hyperfocus on my moles and cringe looking at my old pictures. It’s funny how self-esteem issues settle down over the years. This makes me wonder about the teenagers’ experiences these days. With high resolution cameras, photos, and videos so accessible, what does that do to their self-image? Are we giving them enough room to grow to love themselves without scrutinizing every detail?

I only wish someone talked to me about anxiety, depression, and self-worth when I was a teenager. Maybe also about the id, ego, and superego, attachment types, and stages of moral development. I may not have understood it all, but it would’ve been reassuring to know that over-thinkers did just fine historically. I realize now that the smartest people in high school were the ones that slowed down, and really thought deeply about how they wanted to spend their lives. And the key is actually to believe that slowing down is the best thing for you, and feel confident in your decision.

In a world of comparisons and speedy results, how do we teach kids to slow down? How do we have PARENTS slow down? (This is a serious professional question I have yet to find answers to.) We want instant gratification so much, and the scary thing now is that kids are getting exactly that through social media. Instant reward, rejection, disarray, and at some point, recovery. The lack of regulation of social media content is incomprehensible to me. I wish every teenager out there could hear from a trusted adult, “keep doing you, everything will be okay.”

On this day, I am able to take some time off and it is truly a blessing. I know that many people around the world do not get to take a break, mentally or physically. I wish that mandatory vacations were a thing, but I think there is a bigger problem of culture in which people do not believe breaks are necessary. We lose boundaries this way. My hope is that we can all slow down, absorb our surroundings, be mindful and intentional about our actions.

Happy Holidays. Thank you to whoever that slowed down to read this blog post.